I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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