That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
