So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
