why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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