It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
