Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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