Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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