i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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