I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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