doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
