Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
