Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize