You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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