It's Friday. Sex?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
