Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
