Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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