I think I am morally bankrupt
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize