I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
