what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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