no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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