In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
please don't ironically join a cult
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