Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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