Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
