Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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