Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
