i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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