i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
