I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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