we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
