That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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