then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
