too bad you live with your parents still
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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