we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
