The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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