her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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