every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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