so that wasnt chicken after all
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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