He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
