u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize