doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
