Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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