So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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