when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
