Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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