I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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