Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
