No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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