We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
