More tranny stories later!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
