She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
