Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think your dad took our porno
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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