i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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