it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
