Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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