wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
