Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
