Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we made out on top of his cat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
