sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize