A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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