I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize