If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
