you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
