Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
