I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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