she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize