Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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