If i come over, it means nothing
Duck Duck Cougar?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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