I am spending my child support on dildos
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
