I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
