I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
