All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
