I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
